Wanna live simply and spend my tommorow more freely

Hi.. Its been quite long since i've written a post here. Its kinda weird actually that in the middle of the night while i was watching CSI, i decided to look for my old blog. I guess.. for now.. i'm feeling rather down.

I'm one of the luckiest person to still have a family. i wish they will stay with me for as long as we can. I've got friends, no doubt. I always have something on my schedule, so i'm always kept busy somehow. But for now.. i feel.. like i'm alone. Also, I know its not a good thing that i feel this way, but i wish i could leave one responsibility that i've agreed to commit to. Because, i've come to realise, that it is this one responsibility that have made me felt a lot of negative emotions, is taking up a whole lot of time and i feel that my contributions aren't significant. I know that no one's stopping me from leaving. But one thing that's stopping myself.. is me. I knew from the beginning, there was gonna be ups and downs. No matter what, i've gotta finish what i started. Which is why, im telling myself to grow up, be patient and be professional.

I was reading some of my old entries. I find it quite annoying how.. how annoying i sounded. Coz there were some entries that i felt, i could have been more honest, and not think of what others might say etc. For now, i still have that fear. "what people might think or say..". This thought always haunts me. Its one of the very reason i really wish to delete FB. I find FB really unnecessary. So at least for this post, i wanna move an inch closer towards being more honest about what i'm truly feeling now,

Anyway, its been a great day today. We're now going thru the fasting period and just now Maksu and Paksu brought their kids to break their fast together with us. And more importantly, today is National day.. Singapore's 47th.. Im not exactly a patriotic person, but honestly, i'm glad i'm a Singaporean, and I love Singapore in some ways. And it was funny because everyone's trying to find out if the rumours we heard about Mr LKY was true. I think that was really hilarious.

Tomorrow's gonna be quite challenging. firstly because we have to do some labour work while we are fasting. And secondly, i've to continue my commitment, even if i may not like or enjoy it.

For now, i'll just do my best to take one step at a time.